I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
