Kiss
Puke
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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