Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
