I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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