All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I think my vagina is haunted
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
