the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
