Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
