In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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