Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
