I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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