I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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