Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
