and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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