I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
