i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
