there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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