Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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