Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
