Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
