Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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