She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
