i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
