You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
