I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
handjob tips. give me some.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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