I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
