If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
areolas are like halos for boobs.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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