Kiss
Puke
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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