Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
