quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Randomize
