This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
