Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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