The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
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