you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Randomize
