she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
