He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
