I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize
