OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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