i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
