I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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