People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
