Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
