he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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