dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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