clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I am midnight drunk by noon
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
