i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
