There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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