I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
