so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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