You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
