READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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